April 20, 2010

Free At Last!

So as of yesterday morning at 10 a.m. I am a thesis free woman!

I defended at 9 after several days of nervous and stressed out stupor. I won’t go into details, but let me just say that I was in the Wal-Mart (which I boycott and haven’t shopped at for over 4 years and never did regularly) buying an ink cartridge at 9:30 the night before. I was so upset by the fact that I had to buy something from Wal-Mart that it sort of over-shadowed the nervous panic I was in.

Though a little sleep deprived and perhaps a slight bit under practiced (though you can go too far the other way and be OVER practiced, I’ve seen it), I made it through with flying colors. I answered my committee’s questions like a pro and graciously took suggestions from the graduate coordinator whom I am personally not fond of, and survived.

I looked damn good too. I had several non-solicited compliments on my appearance that had nothing to do with my presentation. I was thrilled because over the weekend, I had hit a new low on the scale. A number I have never seen in my adult life and a huge goal. It was such a boost. That and I had a brand new hair cut from my amazing friend Amber, and a new outfit courtesy of a shopping expedition with my mother. If those things don’t prepare you for 90% of life’s problems, I don’t know what will.

I was having a little bit of an over-stimulated melt down by last night and feeling low for a bit. Some drunken celebration with friends brought me mostly out of it and when I woke up this morning, felt like a huge weight had been lift and I was emerging fresh from a dark place. I am free! I am free to think about other things, not feel like I am wasting time by knitting instead of working on my thesis. While knitting has never been side-lined during this process, and in fact can be credited with helping me through it, I will no longer have that slightly guilty pang when I pick it up instead of the thesis. Hurray!

So now what? I don’t mean what will I do with my life, career, and free time, but what will I knit?

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